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My Temper and my depression. Two things that go hand in hand together. Now i am more fucked off than ever, cant believe they would have ever done this to me again. I have a best friend dying who has less than a month who i care for more than anything and then i have the girl who i long to be with every day pissing me off. Yer, when i get mad, the bad things follow, which leaves me feeling hollow. One day they will all realise what they are doing when someone has been tormented since they were young. Thinking i want to find a bridge and a noose to thinking i want to get into the boxing ring and that sudden change of emotion. I just want this all to be sorted before my life becomes distorted. I want to end my life but at the same time i don’t want to send others into strife.  So one day yes im sure we can be together but right now all i want is the leather. Around my neck when i go there will be a cheque just sitting there for you and then maybe you will realise, that had you recognised, that i was just paralysed then you would know why people consider what you have done as genocide. 

I’ve convinced myself that we’ll happen eventually.
We’d fall madly in love, more than the time before.
I’m still blindly hoping and waiting.
I don’t know how to prove to myself that we’ll never ever happen.
Prove it to me.
Maybe then, I’ll finally learn to let you go.

I’m allowing you to break my heart again.
But, this time, make it worse.
Break it harder.

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